Happy Birthday to Me :)

I had a dream last night! The Christian Club I am apart of at school was the only MAIN thing I remember. I found out they were all MORMON and it was too late to leave the club for some reason and I woke up extremely confused and scared. The organization that is running this Christian Club is BIBLESFORAMERICA. I have googled them and everything really seems to check out. They have this RECOVERY NEW TESTAMENT bible that some of them read but other than that I really don't know anything to think they are into something that is not biblical and not contradicting to Jesus and The Bible. Sorry I am so paranoid and cautious. We are supposed to be unified in the Body of Christ but I always meet these odd groups of believers who just don't sit right in my spirit. Right now I am focusing on just using DISCERNMENT and not jumping to JUDGMENT like I always have done in the past.

I'm learning discernment requires a lot more patience than Judgment does.

Saturday Night service was amazing last night. I just felt so apart of the service and I was able to meet a girl Rachel who was really struggling and really just needed to talk. When we aren't in the relationships God has called us to I don't think we will ever find PEACE ladies. Just a little lesson learned now passing it down. LoL I also really enjoyed looking at Mark 14:42-65?. Jesus often calls us to watch and or pray. These are the times where we can see God is calling us to just be patient and wait upon him. However, HE does not want us to rest with closed eyes (as in Mark in the garden before he is put on trial) because he is preparing us for something. If we enter into this new season without having been watchful and praying that can make the difference of cutting off an ear (peter) or fleeing from Jesus when the enemy strikes. Thankfully God is with us no matter what! So we know we will always have victory but the road for the disciples may have been extremely different had they been in prayer and watchful. Nonetheless we are able to learn from THEIR mistakes and be blessed by the wisdom found when we open up the WORD OF GOD. amen to that!--

love you all *written 9/19/10

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TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! I am officially 21 years old. This is a day I used to dream about when I was younger.. I thought life was amazing once you were 18 because you got to be considered an adult and 21 was when you would have the opportunity to be married or go to college or drive your car to get food (this was my 5th grade mentality). It also meant that you were somewhat different completely from the 9 year old child who dreamed of being 21. This I have found is true and false in soooo many ways.

As a 21 year old I am still dreaming. I dream of my future. I dream of the man GOD has destined me to marry. I dream of the day when I will be united with THE FATHER in his heavenly Kingdom. I dream of the day his Kingdom begins to reign on earth! I dream of the day sin is something of the past and long forgotten and the devil is damned and living in his rightful place in the ABYSS. I dream of my career and who I will be? I dream of finishing school. I dream of where I will live permanently. I dream of the day I move out of my Mothers home and begin my own journey outside of the nest. I dream of all sorts of things. I have not stopped dreaming and I pray that GOD allows me to keep my hopes and spirits alive until my last breath. The day we cease to dream is the day we cease to grow!

• Many things have changed as well. I am now a Woman of GOd, A servant of Christ, A believer, A follower, A Christian, an AWARE sinner. 
• I have had my first and only Boyfriend
• I have broken up with someone
• I have felt the pain of ending a relationship
• I have healed from that pain
• I have surrendered things to CHRIST I never thought were possible
• I have struggled with an eating disorder
• I have filled up 4 journals
• I have prayed publicly!?
• I have prayed for people I never thought I could
• I have had a photo shoot
• I began a blog! 
• I have bought my first car
• I have had my first car problem :(
• I have watched prayers be answered
• I have witnessed Miracles.
• I have learned to play Racquetball
• I have had a job for 2 years in December :) 

Being on the other side somehow feels the same. The excitement I had as a child has slowly dissipated over the years I guess. I have found that every season leaves something behind for the soul. A piece that only me and God can see left within me. I am overjoyed with the many years I have ahead, Lord willing. I wake up thankful for another day of Life given to me by the Lord. I never had this excitement as a child! There were nights I pleaded for the death I could not carry out. There were nights I prayed to not exist, to have never been born. Days full of pain, fear and self-loathing. I have been given a new heart, a new mind and a new life by my Lord Jesus Christ. This is the best gift I could ever receive and it truly is the gift that keeps on giving.

God has blessed me with some amazing friendships, reconnected me with Family and given my heart a growing passion for life. The things I once hoped for as a 9year old child have since been removed and replaced with his desires and hope. Am I ever glad for that! Here is to the next 9 years full of seasons and refinement. May the lord bless you all!!

Lord I thank you for all that you have and will do in my life. I thank you for your continuous and infinite LOVE. I thank you for breathing LIFE into me. I thank you for BELIEVING in me when I could not on my own. I thank you for blessing my life with your awesome guidance and wisdom and for keeping me close. Lord I pray to follow you and obey you precepts until the day that I day. I pray to put you first before all other life Lord Jesus. I pray to become more like you and less like me with each passing minute,hour and day. Lord align my will with yours. Grow me and Stretch me into your image Lord. Thank you so much for loving me and teaching me to love. You are my greatest love! In Jesus Name I pray this Prayer. Amen

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10 AWARDS TO BLOGS OF SUBSTANCE!!

I am a bit slow blog wise. I have not even had this blog for a month yet and I still am amazed at the time and EFFORT that people take into making their blogs so unique and captivating. I happened to be quite savvy back in the day with my xanga and myspace. Since leaving both of those, years ago now, and coming to the MELLOW world of FACE BOOK I have since forgotten ALL of those amazing skills that I possessed. I seriously am quite embarrassed (I got some pride problems) that I don't even remember how to put a link into my text and mask it with a name. Ahhh. I am also so lazy that I don't think I will be learning anytime soon. Hopefully I can gradually build up those skills that I have long since forgotten and lost :).

Just Another Smith   awarded me with a  BLOG OF SUBSTANCE AWARD on SEPTEMBER 1, 2010. I did not realize that I was receiving a award. It was my knowledge that I had been given just a plain old shout out on her page which gave me the most amazing feeling; Knowing that my blog meant ANYTHING to her was an award all in it's own.

I really enjoy this BLOG because she is just so darn cute! Seriously! It shows in her writing. After her bed bug snafu I really found myself giggling at my computer and at the same time deeply concerned that I could be in the same predicament with my husband one day, and y'all, I would be a HOT MESS! I probably would vouch to stay at a HOTEL while he took care of things. I guess I can be a bit of a princess huh? LoL.
 If you enjoy reading blogs with humor and reading about the day to day life of someone amazing then PLEASE stop by her blog and take a peak. I guarantee you will enjoy what you read!

Now, I believe I am supposed to follow the format of HER award and state my blogging PHILOSOPHY, MOTIVATION and EXPERIENCE in just 5 words. Here they are :)! :

1.God!= (THE FATHER, THE SON, THE HOLY SPIRIT)
2.TRUTH
3.LIFE
4.Women
5.HEALING

NEXT, I state 10 BLOGS I follow with SUBSTANCE! These are in Random order and I have absolutely no idea how to pick because I follow so many but I am just going to ask GOD to guide me. So take it up with him if you got an issue or complaint please :)!

BLOG AWARD OF SUBSTANCE GOES TO THE FOLLOWING:

1. A Sight to Be Seen ♥

2. FRESH GRACE

3. Life Blessons

4. Owl CITY Blog

5. Soaking Up the Sunnyside of Life

6. Simple.Little.Joys

7. Life of the Liles

8. The Flowerchild Dwelling

9. Streets and Stripes

10.PERMANENTLY AT LUNCH

BONUS BLOG:

11.  Amanda + Don   

I love this blog and the writer really just demonstrates what it means when we take our vows. Her husband is currently in the military and I would like all of you who are willing to keep this couple and your prayers and Pray for a SAFE and SPEEDY return home to his BEAUTIFUL WIFE!! 




These were hard and easy choices. Hard because I didn't want anyone to think that the number is their RANKING and I just sifted through and clipped the blogs that I constantly visit and am ADDICTED TO! lol Easy because all of these ladies and MAN write such pure love onto their blogs. I can say that when I see an UPDATE on my page from ANY of these blogs I get really excited at what they are up to, have to say, how things are progressing...etc. It's like having friends only you don't have to worry about the messy bits. You get 100 percent access to their life, struggles and their heart :)!. It really is amazing. Also as far as I know all of these blogs are IN FACT believers of My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ which just makes it extra special to be able to follow them. When Christ is involved life is never BORING. 

AMEN!


p.s. If you were listed you now are responsible to do the following. List your blogging PHILOSOPHY, MOTIVATION & EXPERIENCE !
Then list 10 blogs OF SUBSTANCE!  

THESE ARE AWARDS SO FEEL AMAZING AND BLESSED!! YOU DESERVE IT :)...


 

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Dear Lord,

Why must I always feel strong enough to text him after I've read the BIBLE? Seriously, does that make any sense at all? I had an amazing quiet time with my King this morning and was still feeling extremely sleepy after hanging out with some friends from church really late last night. So I get back into bed groggy and text him a simple question. Nothing really important just asking if he knows someone I met last night. Then he responds and all I think about it how much distance there is between us. All I see is the beautiful, SKINNY, woman that looks NOTHING like me plastered on the front of his phone. Or the GORGEOUS Latina chick pasted on his Myspace (which I happily deleted a while ago btw).

Comparison is the quickest way to UNHAPPINESS. I keep comparing myself. I keep thinking who on this planet will EVER love me again? Aside from CHRIST I feel so hopeless romantically. I feel so hopeless and unworthy ladies.. I know my worth isn't based upon the things that will fade like my body or how BEAUTIFUL I am but if I've learned anything it's to be honest in my struggles and THIS IS HONESTLY my struggle just for TODAY. I don't feel thin enough, in shape enough, proportionate, I feel lazy, in need of the gym, in need of a miracle.. lol

I already feel much better after purging that out! Financially I am STRUGGLING greatly. I need more hours at work but SCHOOL will definitely suffer if I try to overload. Plus there aren't any hours available at the BANK. I applied for a loan to cover a few things and bring me back up to positive but was respectfully declined. God WILL provide. I just wish I could Find another way to work where maybe I could do homework as well? That would be a blessing. Or a new job that pays better and allows me to have time to study and do work. Ugh. Being an adult can be a bit draining at times. Sometimes I wonder how exactly I became an adult so quickly. Soon, I'll be thinking how I became a wife, a person with a PROFESSION, kids *all of this god-willing of course :)*... I just hate having to depend on my mom for things like lunch or food. I was so spoiled in my independence and I feel like I'm back to being that child I was so desperate to break free of when I was younger. Praying I will find a mechanic willing to fix my car and for an affordable cost and that will help out a lot.

I have faith in you Lord. Though I am troubled I know you are with me. I pray that all of my words be pleasing to your ears. That I bring you joy somehow. I pray for satisfaction in each day you have given me and to remember just how SMALL I am and how GREAT you are :). You are GOD sovereign! I am but a child and thank you for being my father! You teach us in your word that if we LOVE GOD then we will Love CHRIST! That we will believe you and TRUTH will be revealed and SET us FREE. You teach us that if we don't believe in you then we believe the FATHER OF LIES who is SATAN. Thank you for freeing me LORD. Give me strength to fight the LIES of satan. TO fight with prayer, fellowship and time with you! AWAKEN MY SOUL LORD JESUS :)!! I AM YOURS FULLY. OH GOD PLEASE USE ME!!
In Jesus Name I make this Prayer
AMEN




Have a SUPER SILLY SUNDAY!
♥cheche

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