CheChe feels..

....
That there are few things that make her uncomfortable. I'm naturally an awkward person and I just sort of embrace it.
But tonight I came into Church a bit late. I watched X-Men, dropped my friend back off at home then headed to MONDAY NIGHTS LIVE.
I was feeling good and thinking about how different it will be to not have my girls around who are leaving to Africa for 2months.

And then it happened. I opened my eyes and looked to my left and watched a man who looked like my ex walking down the aisle to his seat.
As I watched I thought this man bore such a strong resemblance to my ex.
Then I thought "oh cracker jacks"! 
That is my ex!

There is much to say on what took place after this realization set in. One was that I definitely thought I was over the whole relationship and had definitely moved on. I guess I thought I was past any type of feelings at all.
But tonight I realized that I am still not entirely over him...

I know this man is not the one.
I know that he isn't someone I would want as a husband.

But I just never got real closure.
I never really had a complete and clear ending.
And tonight I looked at him as he said hello and thought "when will  this feeling die?"

Quite frankly God, I would love nothing more than to look at him and just feel joy for another brother in faith coming to hear your word. I would love to talk to him and have nothing but pure love and peaceful thoughts as I caught up with him.
I would love to be happy to see him.
I would love to not care whether he is near me or not...
I would love to not remember ever being with him Lord.
I would love to forget it all and just be another friend of his.

But here I am writing a blog post. Because I'm too prideful to just fall on my face and weep over the feelings that I can't seem to purge from my heart. Feelings of having once thought I was going to marry that guy. Feelings of remembering our first kiss. Holding his hand and at one time believing that he would be my first and therefore my last....

Lord I really don't like these feelings. They feel like baggage. And I want to be rid of them. I know that there is a special man you have for me. A man who is faithful and righteous and loves you with his whole heart. God I know that you are working out something in me through this and I thank you for whatever it is.

Lord, I just wish I didn't care at all.
As if I never knew him...

Forgive me Lord but that is my truth for this moment.

Does anyone know what I mean?

Here are some pictures of some amazing tacos I've enjoyed and a breakfast I enjoyed with my mom. I love snapping quick photos of good food. It is quite the hobby.

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Panhandling for the Coveted ♥

I know GOD supplies all of my needs.
I do.
I really, really do.
But where does PAN-HANDLING come into play?

I know. I am quite pathetic to even think such a thought.
But...(stay with me here)... BUT...

[I once met a guy who panhandled FOR A LIVING.]  <--Excuse insert
He had a shifty right eye and used it to his advantage to make money
on the corner. Add to that an outfit that the more privilidged
Orange County-ans would consider the look of poverty and voila!
You have a phony bum.
In the middle of the walkway, or in front of your local
grocery store.
Anyways, due to the crazy person I am without Christ (and mainly an ex-boyfriend)
I came into the paths of this man and he told me that this was his way of living.
He made about as much as I make in a week in a day.
IT opened my eyes. It changed me. I was so confused. I was a bit angry. A tad jealous
and just downright intrigued.reliving the conversation... Wondering, if the desire
to panhandle for a... CAMERA would be the right thing to do...
I would be honest about it.

I would write "A starving student, with a roof over her head and gas-guzzling, grand marquis seeks your extra change in order to obtain the camera she cannot ever possibly afford working part-time in a financial institution."

An honest panhandler is something to be revered ladies. I dare say, they aren't all quite as impoverished as you think.
Yes. I just used one guy who pretended to be a bum as an excuse to pose such a question about panhandling.

When Jesus walked the earth he saw those that begged and would give them REAL WEALTH, eternal life! He would reach out His hand, He would command the lame to walk and He would certainly not pity them. He blesses all who have faith.


I guess. I guess. Well, perhaps the panhandling thing isn't what the Lord wants me to do. But I just wanted to be honest about the thoughts that creep into my head. This is the woman you are following. She is in need of prayer. At all times.

thank you. I...

and I apologize for the offensive thoughts.
I have quite a long way to go.

♥cheche

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10 AWARDS TO BLOGS OF SUBSTANCE!!

I am a bit slow blog wise. I have not even had this blog for a month yet and I still am amazed at the time and EFFORT that people take into making their blogs so unique and captivating. I happened to be quite savvy back in the day with my xanga and myspace. Since leaving both of those, years ago now, and coming to the MELLOW world of FACE BOOK I have since forgotten ALL of those amazing skills that I possessed. I seriously am quite embarrassed (I got some pride problems) that I don't even remember how to put a link into my text and mask it with a name. Ahhh. I am also so lazy that I don't think I will be learning anytime soon. Hopefully I can gradually build up those skills that I have long since forgotten and lost :).

Just Another Smith   awarded me with a  BLOG OF SUBSTANCE AWARD on SEPTEMBER 1, 2010. I did not realize that I was receiving a award. It was my knowledge that I had been given just a plain old shout out on her page which gave me the most amazing feeling; Knowing that my blog meant ANYTHING to her was an award all in it's own.

I really enjoy this BLOG because she is just so darn cute! Seriously! It shows in her writing. After her bed bug snafu I really found myself giggling at my computer and at the same time deeply concerned that I could be in the same predicament with my husband one day, and y'all, I would be a HOT MESS! I probably would vouch to stay at a HOTEL while he took care of things. I guess I can be a bit of a princess huh? LoL.
 If you enjoy reading blogs with humor and reading about the day to day life of someone amazing then PLEASE stop by her blog and take a peak. I guarantee you will enjoy what you read!

Now, I believe I am supposed to follow the format of HER award and state my blogging PHILOSOPHY, MOTIVATION and EXPERIENCE in just 5 words. Here they are :)! :

1.God!= (THE FATHER, THE SON, THE HOLY SPIRIT)
2.TRUTH
3.LIFE
4.Women
5.HEALING

NEXT, I state 10 BLOGS I follow with SUBSTANCE! These are in Random order and I have absolutely no idea how to pick because I follow so many but I am just going to ask GOD to guide me. So take it up with him if you got an issue or complaint please :)!

BLOG AWARD OF SUBSTANCE GOES TO THE FOLLOWING:

1. A Sight to Be Seen ♥

2. FRESH GRACE

3. Life Blessons

4. Owl CITY Blog

5. Soaking Up the Sunnyside of Life

6. Simple.Little.Joys

7. Life of the Liles

8. The Flowerchild Dwelling

9. Streets and Stripes

10.PERMANENTLY AT LUNCH

BONUS BLOG:

11.  Amanda + Don   

I love this blog and the writer really just demonstrates what it means when we take our vows. Her husband is currently in the military and I would like all of you who are willing to keep this couple and your prayers and Pray for a SAFE and SPEEDY return home to his BEAUTIFUL WIFE!! 




These were hard and easy choices. Hard because I didn't want anyone to think that the number is their RANKING and I just sifted through and clipped the blogs that I constantly visit and am ADDICTED TO! lol Easy because all of these ladies and MAN write such pure love onto their blogs. I can say that when I see an UPDATE on my page from ANY of these blogs I get really excited at what they are up to, have to say, how things are progressing...etc. It's like having friends only you don't have to worry about the messy bits. You get 100 percent access to their life, struggles and their heart :)!. It really is amazing. Also as far as I know all of these blogs are IN FACT believers of My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ which just makes it extra special to be able to follow them. When Christ is involved life is never BORING. 

AMEN!


p.s. If you were listed you now are responsible to do the following. List your blogging PHILOSOPHY, MOTIVATION & EXPERIENCE !
Then list 10 blogs OF SUBSTANCE!  

THESE ARE AWARDS SO FEEL AMAZING AND BLESSED!! YOU DESERVE IT :)...


 

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