Just a little bit of random stream of consciousness. Please do not judge. I feel like releasing :).
Two days ago at approximately 820am I chose to drive in the carpool lane and as a result I was pulled over.
Yes, I ignored the HOLY SPIRIT screaming in my head like a gentle father about to watch his child fall off their bike. I told GOD to please be quiet. I need to get to work on time. Just this once I need to break the law, okay? 2 minutes later the SPIRIT quieted and asked me "why do you disobey"? I passed a highway patrol man and before he saw me I knew I was receiving my first ticket.
I am such a brat y'all. I thought I would tell GOD to be quiet? Seriously. I feared being late to work and getting written up by my boss more than JESUS CHRIST!? AM I CRAZY? Yes. But am I that crazy?? No! I am a stupid, sinful little child. I have definitely learned my lesson. God does not like to see us putting ANYTHING before him. He is quick to remind us that our lives lay in his hands not in our sight or own strength. I know these things. Knowing is nothing without faith and OBEDIENCE.
Today I saw _______ for the first time in a while. The last time was when we met for coffee. God, thank you so much for giving _______ a caring heart. There are so many out there who would not use their TRIPLE A to help their ex-girlfriend that broke up with them have her car towed. I really, really am so in love with the heart that _______ has. When we talked today I, of course, was distant and kept it surface deep. I feel sometimes when I talk to _______ about what is important to me there often isn't much of an active response. That was something I often felt in our relationship. So, instead of being rude and getting upset, I listened to _______ talk and made responses and kept it friendly. _______ hardly noticed. A part of me wanted to let _______ know, "in the future, a girl wants to know she is being heard. Not just acknowledged in the fact that she did speak." But I felt that I should just keep my mouth tight on the topic.
I found myself looking into _______ amazing, blue eyes. Only, those blue diamonds were exactly that. Nice looking eyes. I didn't feel the urge to hug _______. I didn't desire _______ hand on mind. I felt a bit uncomfortable in the car that once was as comfortable as driving in my car. Things have changed. I am extremely thankful for this realization. I am and have moved on. Wow. Isn't that scary? That feeling of knowing that you are actually never going to be with that person again. That feeling of satisfaction in your heart-breaking choice? God is so great, and swift to heal. It really has not been that long since the cut-off took place. I could be in a much worst place today which is how I know that the GOD I serve is faithful and real.
There's a Christian Club on campus :). Not affiliated with the "other" Christian Club either. I am excited to join :). They meet the days that I am on campus. I talked to some of the girls and it felt really nice. Will whoever you are that is reading be praying for this. Since attending the "other" Christian Clubs church, I am very apprehensive about new CHRISTIAN churches, groups or anything with a Christian title. I am quick to judge and it is something I struggle with and until today had not prayed too much on. After speaking to the girls REVELATION and the letters to the new Churches was brought up. I thought of how GOD had something to say to all of the Churches. None of them were perfect. It was like a piece of beef in marinade and at the end of my math class it had been roasted to perfection. I immediately knew what God was telling me. ALL FALL SHORT! Unless a group is completely blaspheming God and HIS word I have no right to judge. I can differ, I can choose to stay away, but I have NO RIGHT as a SINNER SAVED BY GRACE to judge.
This is something that really changed the rest of the day. I feel how we are spiritually, leaks into the rest of our lives, sometimes. If I am always looking for faults in other believers or waiting to hear something that I do not agree with I will definitely be doing the same in the world with co-workers, clients, classmates...etc. I need to focus PURELY ON MY WALK WITH CHRIST. He will direct me. My job is to stay close and lean not on my own understanding. If I am confused then I need to ask him for help and he will speak to me like always. Whether it be through my faithful, amazing and extremely intelligent Grandmother who serves Jesus Christ or a stranger in a coffee shop or a thought unlike my own. HE will always deliver when it brings him glory.
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| a nice fat slice for the girl who drove illegally. Seriously, I really didn't deserve this pie. Thank you Madre :). |
I had apple pie TUESDAY. I think my mom saw how upset and distraught I was over the TICKET I received. She allowed me to go get my favorite VEGAN APPLE PIE from WHOLE FOODS MARKET in her car and with her own money. My mom really is amazing. I know we never see our Mothers as perfect 24/7. I just think of how much weight she carries on her shoulders with raising me and my siblings and the roof she has provided on her own for so many years and I can't help but think how strong she is. I love her dearly and if she were to be taken from me I would not know what to do... Apple pies have always been my favorite desert and pastime dish. However, this apple pie is made with pure joy and happiness baked right inside. It is vegan and taste more delicious than the best non-vegan apple pies out there. And I have definitely tasted them all. I had a slice last night and boy did it lift my sore spirits.
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| oh, I got my first item for fall :). The scarf not the pie. I love it and I of course spent less than 5 bucks for it. |
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| I decided to eat a slice before taking the picture :). So delicious!! |
The pie was a hit at a potluck I went to as well. Most of the guys and girls there were not into anything vegan and had I told them before would have been apprehensive. But I brought two of these 7dollar goodies and everyone was RAVING over them. One guy made a joke after I said they were vegan "Don't force your beliefs on me." I thought that was funny. Vegan and Vegetarianism for many can be a sort of religion. Where all of a sudden everything under and about those categories is an idol. I see nothing wrong with this way of living and eating, although for me personally, having suffered from an eating disorder I can't just jump into restrictive lifestyles with food. It is something I must pray on and make sure I am putting GOD first. I went vegan for about a month and a half and became a bit anxious and stressed over it. I had to stop and realize that God will always give you peace when you are in his will. I was on a very nice looking DIET. lol And diets are never permanent. LIFE CHANGES ARE!
anyways, I rambled and had an amazing time doing so! Please know that you are loved!! I think that simple truth can make such a difference in a woman or mans life. I know it did for me. I have not been the same since :).
ENJOY YOUR THIRSTY THURSDAY!
LET THE LORD QUENCH YOUR THIRST!
♥cheche
