"feels so good it must be love,
I give up I give in I let go let's begin
Because no matter what I do
My heart is filled with you...
Ohhh..
You got me..
Ohh
WOOAHH.
You got me.
You got me."-ColbieCaillay
"still I wonder why it is
I don't argue like this with anyone but you.
We do it all the time, blowing out my mind.
You got this look I can't describe
You make me feel I am alive...
Ohhh Your love...
Still I wonder why it is
I don't argue like this with anyone but you?"-Corrine Bailey Rae
I was overwhelmed with the urge to cry and laugh and pray.
You see, I follow A LOT of married womens blogs.
Andddddd. I am quite single.
I'm as single as single comes I suppose.
It doesn't bother me...
That much.
I just love reading these blogs and for some reason the fact that your married almost makes me love you more.
I want that happiness of marriage.
I'm kind of going through this I'm sick of being single stage.
It started probably longer than a week ago, but it feels like it started in the last few days.
I know that this is all in God's plans for me.
I just think that maybe if I stopped looking at all of your happy marriages and:
The way some of you talk about your great husbands.
The adorable babies you guys make.
The pictures of you going out with your man or a post about how amazing he is.
THAT I WOULD FORGET I AM SINGLE AND EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE.
I shouldn't have ever dated my first boyfriend.
I was a bit fed up with being single my whole 19 years of existence the night I met him.
But he turned out to be a beautifully, unnecessary and FATTY mistake in a strange GODLY way.
But my theory is if we as women DON'T waste time dating at least our singleness won't seem so burdenful. (And when we meet our husbands we'll just be baggage free and blessed!)
Because you won't know what your missing out on.
Holding hands, having a best friend who thinks your BEAUTIFUL, being looked in the eye and called beautiful, having a HAND TO HOLD!!!
Ugh. Some kind of WAIT ON THE LORD encouragement that was huh?
You see what kind of state I am in???
Well, I'm not trying to say I don't like where I am in life.
I know there is a LOT of stuff that God and me need to work out.
I know there is a LOT of stuff that God and me need to work out.
I know there is a LOT of surrender that needs to be done on my part to my Savior.
And I know that no matter how much beauty I think falling in real LOVE will be, that marriage is the beginning of dieing to self and a lot of WORK.
But tonight, in this moment I like the thought of embarking on that scary path.
In God's perfect timing, of course.
There is a man out there and God knows whom He is.
I have the baggage of one relationship and my pride really feeds off of that because I have seen so many friends and girls give pieces of themselves away in so many relationships (and we're only in our early 20's). And I am blessed that for whatever reason men didn't want to date me in highschool or afterwards. ha ha
Seriously it was protection.
But that is the thing. Before my 2 year relationship that ended over a year ago, I was single that WHOLE time before. I just feel like I've lived the single life. I've lived it Lord.
well, here is me making my request known. Despite how dumb and silly and desperate and pathetic I may sound. I know that sometimes we search but we don't even ask... So I am going to ask!!! In this very, very, very long blog of mine.
Philippians4:6: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Lord,
I pray for a man to come to me.
A man whose heart and eyes are set upon your kingdom.
A man who laughs from HIS heart and loves through your spirit.
A man who has a smile that bends me at the knees.
A strong man, Lord Willing, who can lead with the gentleness of Christ.
A man who has eyes that captivate my attention and mesmerize me.
Eyes I feel I could get lost in...
Lord I pray for a man who fits me in every way.
Who challenges me to grow, to walk, to break free in YOU!
A man who has a heart for this fallen world.
A man who wants to work for you first and seeks to do all UNTO you on this earth.
A man who loves the GOD in me and loves my imperfection.
A man who isn't vain.
A man who feels sent from you.
A man whose heart and eyes are set upon your kingdom.
A man who laughs from HIS heart and loves through your spirit.
A man who has a smile that bends me at the knees.
A strong man, Lord Willing, who can lead with the gentleness of Christ.
A man who has eyes that captivate my attention and mesmerize me.
Eyes I feel I could get lost in...
Lord I pray for a man who fits me in every way.
Who challenges me to grow, to walk, to break free in YOU!
A man who has a heart for this fallen world.
A man who wants to work for you first and seeks to do all UNTO you on this earth.
A man who loves the GOD in me and loves my imperfection.
A man who isn't vain.
A man who feels sent from you.
Oh God, I know that I don't deserve any of this.
But I ask because you are the only one whom I can call upon.
You are God.
You are Sovereign.
So I run to you in all of my silliness like the crazy daughter I am.
And I humbly ask Lord.
Let it be.
Night ladies! Thanks for reading if you did. ha ha I couldn't hold it all in. ;)
♥cheche
