Romans 6: Fin! ♥

Yes, my dear reader(s). Romans 6 is finally finished. It's crazy.

A couple of weeks ago I was complaining about Romans being so difficult and going days without doing my devotions in it just because I didn't even feel like I understood what in the world I was reading. Thinking that and knowing that reading is useless if you don't understand what your reading I would just not open my bible unless at church or doing a particular study that asked questions where I needed to reference scripture. Throughout this time I was, however, praying for The Lord to transform our relationship in this area. I wanted to pick up His word and have the Holy Spirit speaking to me about the things that He wanted me to know about Him and myself in Him. So it is definitely not a surprise that I breezed through Romans6 with the Holy Spirit speaking loud and clear. 

Romans 6 is a chapter every christian, including myself, needs to have memorized and written on their hearts. It is this amazing chapter that breaks down our life that we now have as believers. What are lives should look like and the beautiful death that we should have suffered in being reconciled with God through Jesus Christ. I was convicted, encouraged and just set aflame in my prayer life because this chapter (like many) is where it is at! Crucified with Christ, it is no longer I that live but CHRIST that live in me. I am a walking vessel. I want desperately Lord for my body to be presented as a holy instrument for your use daily/hourly/minute/second...etc. I want to be USED. But if Che is still squirming around and living then how can Christ actually invade me in the amazing and supernatural way that He did the apostle Paul and so many others? There is nothing separating Che and Paul. The only difference is availability. So my prayer is just that. TO BE AVAILABLE. TO SIT AT HIS FEET. TO BE USED IN A EXTRAORDINARY WAY BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT GOD DESIRES TO DO WITH EACH AND EVERY TRUE BELIEVER AND WORSHIPPER! WE ARE ALL SPECIAL! WE ARE ALL PAULS, MATTHEWS, STEPHENS, PETERS, JOHNS in the sight of the Lord. Don't hold these men in any special place. Rise to the occasion. What has your Savior asked of you recently??? What has my savior asked of me... WHEW. This is fire guys.

I want Father, to live with the eyes of eternal life. To live with the heart of brokenness. Oh Lord, invade me. I can be really stupid, prideful in my SELF, belligerent in the intoxicating aroma of this worlds idols... I am weak... But I am also yours Lord. Please transform me Father and make me more like you that I may be a slave to the righteousness that is in Christ alone. I know I mess up and I am not praying for perfection by any means, I just pray to become more like you Father in every area of my life because I love you and I need you. Thank you for this life that is not mine. I am privileged to live for your good purpose.

♥cheche

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He Reigns in Me ♥

Romans 6:12 "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires."

What if I don't know that I am obeying the evil desires of the sin nature I have been born into?

Well, when I was lost and wandering carefree through the world there was a lot that I allowed and a lot that I tolerated. I tolerated the misuse of my temple in ways such as smoking cigs, starving it, forcing myself to throw up, over eating and overcompensating for the void within with marijuana, self-mutilation, lots of other things. I lost something extremely precious to a man who was not deserving. Although I thank the Lord for keeping me protected and not allowing me to sleep with more than one person one man is enough for the enemy to remind me of who I once was; How I once allowed the sin within my mortal body to REIGN. 

Thankfully now Christ reigns. But that isn't something that happened overnight. I was going to church RELIGIOUSLY (no pun intended) for about 6 months before I could muster up any courage at all to declare Him as Lord and be held accountable for the sin that I was still desperately clinging to in my life. 

But back to the question at hand. Throughout the list mentioned above in the first paragraph, I could always recall, a voice within feeding me truth. A voice within that I figured was just the good person inside of me helping me. Telling me not to sleep with this person, not to try that drug, not to attend that party. There was this inner God consciousness that I believe every human being created is born with. Although I didn't have His Holy Spirit living within me He was near me protecting me and guiding me. Did I always listen? Definitely not. Sometimes I did though, and I was always grateful when I did. 

So you see I can't say I believe that everyone is that ignorant of the sin that seeks to destroy them. Somehow one way or another we are always battling the definite YES or NO. We are always wondering if we should put our finger in the electrical socket or not. If we should sneak into mom and dads bedroom to find the presents or not. To steal the chocolate candy when everyone leaves class to go to recess or not. These are all things that I can remember questioning from the elementary years. Those evil desires that we question, some chalk up to just plain curiosity, are there! They live within both you and me. Yet now they are only dwelling in a Holy Tomb. Our bodies once offered as instruments to God are now pure and clean and our battle is one of dark principalities and forces. When the sin nature seeks to kill and destroy we turn victorious to Christ who lives within us and stand upon the solid rock that He is shouting "I AM VICTORIOUS!". 

Praise the Lord for that good news. I needed to hear that and then some.

I pray you guys have a blessed Saturday and shoot me a prayer request if you have one.

♥cheche

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Feeling Dead ♥

Romans 6:4 "We were therefore buried with him though baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the father, we too may live a new life."

Excuse the blunt blog title but that is exactly what came to mind this morning. I am not going to sit here and put on the false pretense of understanding Romans with great ease. Oh no, this is something that I have struggled with accepting and also something that my pride is being broken of. 

Growing up in the earliest years I can only remember being an A student and constantly being acknowledged for the intelligence I possessed that made me a tad bit above average. However, although I eventually became a wreck from 7th grade onwards and never really got back on the right track with grades throughout High School, the mentality that I am above average never left me. Hence, this is how the smart___ that I was known to be the later years of adolescence came about.

Now that you have a brief history you can understand how I struggled and almost wanted to over look Romans. Chapter 1 and 2 were vicious and the apostle Paul, chief of sinners, does not hold back the knowledge he had of being raised and educated in the finer things in life. He was indeed a well learned man and it is displayed throughout the New Testament in his many writings. This is something that I have only recently come to accept. Paul can write in a way that makes me feel out of place. Less than mentally. And that my friends is one of my biggest fears.

I fear the perception of others in regards to me in a detrimental way at times. The Lord has brought me pretty far but I still struggle with wondering how I am being perceived. In early life I had my intelligence. That is what I clung to. Although it didn't show in my grades I was constantly feeding it. I was a searcher of answers and discoverer of truth. It was nice to come to class having not done my homework *except in math* and participate and debate the topics at hand. That was the rock I stood upon and it made me feel just a bit less secure and a lot more brilliant in the eyes of others. Romans is just something that Jesus used to reveal this to me. It has always been in me but when you are praying for the Lord to break you of all things not of Him, for God to reveal Himself within you, to be transformed more into His image... Well, your bound to start seeing the things about yourself that once were not bothersome as quite irritating.

I praise God for His Holy and living word the Bible. I praise Him for answering each and every prayer. He is swift to deliver guys, let me just tell you that. And today in Romans when I look at how I am being buried in the death of Christ so I may live in His resurrection I'm struck with the feeling that I just don't feel quite dead. I mean I know I am forgiven, sanctified by my belief, and justified by my faith but I feel as if I am in the grave unconscious and not FULLY DEAD. 

This is my hope as I press onward to the goal. This is my prayer today Dear Father. I want to be DEAD IN YOU fully. I want to be consumed in every endeavor and every ounce of my being Father. Show me my pride so I can pray to surrender it. Show me my barriers and hindrances in this walk of mine so I may grow in abounding grace through you. SHOW ME FATHER WHAT AND WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE!! Apart from you I am but dust Lord. Resurrect me in you so I may truly "live a new life" in you Lord Jesus.

Now I know He has already done great things but you guys I am a greedy little thing. I want more. I crave the Lords nearness and presence. I crave His healing powers. If you knew you had access to the Creator of this world who still lives wouldn't you be just a BIT needier than usual.

I ask you believer, or unbeliever, to utilize the beautiful tool we have in the power of Christ. Don't let your pride keep you from surrendering more of yourself to Him. Don't let your life be mediocre in living for the God of this universe. BE all you can be fully in Him and He will ROCK YOUR WORLD. It hurts to be refined but how else does one make precious metals such as gold?? Be broken for His healing powers and you will never regret the weakness within. 

Lord, I want to be dead. Thank you for showing me just how much I need you. Even when I at times think I am doing great and lacking nothing I thank you for showing me just how weak your creation is. I ask you to strip me of my pride and raise me up into the beautiful woman, future wife and mother that I will someday be. Teach me to use my gifts father for your glory. Transform my life Father! I am so overjoyed in who you are and what you plan to do with me. Thank you Lord for your death in which I am made alive.

Amen

♥cheche 

Have a blessed Thursday...

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