No Apologies ♥

For the things I cannot be.
For the way I cannot do things.
For the heart that beats within me.

I will no longer feel sorry about this last one.

That I love JESUS CHRIST more than I express.

More than I show my family at times.

More than I show my co-workers.

More than I show other Followers/Christians/Disciples...etc.

I will NOT apologize...

I cannot APOLOGIZE.

To apologize is to DENOUNCE the life I've freely been given.

OLD MISSING CHAPTERS BIBLE. R.I.P

oH, HEY new lovely clutch looking bible ;).

I won't keep quiet as you taunt others who shout HIS name from rooftops.
"FOR THEIR 'RELIGIOUS' BEHAVIOR".

What I seek is not religion from my LORD.
I SEEK HIM.
FULLY, 100% HIM!!!
I desire to know HIM.
TO be more like HIM.
TO touch His face.
TO wash His feet.
I DESIRE HIM MORE THAN I COULD EVER FULFILL.

I can't keep quiet.
I must tell you this.
I must tell you that MY LIFE IS NO LONGER MINE.

I must tell you that despite myself and my weaknesses and flaws HE IS ALL THAT LIFE IS WORTH LIVING FOR...

I am not the girl who is perfect.

I am not the woman who has it together.

I am not the friend that always loves you right.

I am not the daughter who cleans up perfectly after herself.

I am not the sister who remembers to turn off the hallway light.

I am not the sister who is as responsible as you need her to be.

I am not the sister who was available for 10 years of her life.

I am not the daughter who maintained a 4.0 gpa after elementary.

I am not the daughter who loved you enough in Middle School.

I am not the daughter who made you proud throughout highschool.

I am not...
I am not...

As tears fall down my face, I plead with you...
To know that I cannot apologize.
I just can't live in this apologetic state for you.
I can't live to please you above HIM.
I can't fulfill this idea of what you need me to be.

I can tell you that I try.
I truly, truly try and constantly find myself doing it all wrong.
Not doing enough.

I see who I am.
For the last 12 years I have seen myself through YOUR eyes.
ALL OF YOU.
That is the idea of myself I have been carrying.

But I can't anymore.

I just can't carry that weight.
I can't hold myself to your view because it breaks my soul to try.
It breaks my tear ducts as the flood flows heavily.

It just hurts, because JESUS is all I can give you.
And even that I DO NOT DO ENOUGH OF.


I will never be a size XS or S.
I will never be a model.
I will never be rich.
I will never be "IMPORTANT".
Whatever that means.


I'm just really feeling heavy hearted right now guys.
I won't apologize for this rant despite the urge too.
I'm just so sick of trying to live to please people.
I'm so sick of myself and letting myself down.
I just want to share the LORD.
I just want to share LOVE.
I just want to...
I don't even know how to explain this all.

I am not apologizing. He is the way, the truth and life.
I CAN NOT BE ASHAMED.
I will not be discouraged.

By His marks, I am healed and sealed.

semi-formal night

I just ask you all for prayer.
For my walk.
For my family.
For my mind.
And for my LIFE.
I just ask you all for prayer.

Thank you.

♥CheChe 

click here to see what I participated in and info on how to read all the other ladies who BLOGGED across America and warmed cold hands and hearts this past week. REALLY BLESSED ME :).

The pictures are a collaboration of what I've been doing on my vacation that ends this coming TUESDAY. I'm not too good at taking pictures outfit wise but I got a full bathroom shot of an outfit I wore to do something sometime this week. :) blessings!