♥ Cycling Class...

I haven't had my own room in a while. I wouldn't mind this in my new room some day ♥

So I am beginning to love cycling class. ALTHOUGH I do not like it at all throughout the workout. I seriously sat there praying for the most part. I think I was praying because I knew if I didn't I would be tempted to GROAN and SHOUT for freedom from the injustice in turning your gear to the highest you can handle and pushing through the equivalent of slow quicksand only to REST for 2oseconds and do it again.

WHEW.


I just got exhausted from typing my feelings out :). That is progress of some sort I suppose.


Thank you all for following me BTW. I really don't have TOO much profound stuff going on in my little life. 
I'm single, I spend my free time at church because I love going, I work at a bank... When I look at the facts I kind of get a bit confused as to why anyone would really be interested in what is going on with this crazy little black lady. *yes I am a lady...recognize*


I have truly fell in LOVE with a couple handful of blogs recently:

• Megan! not only is she studying abroad in ENGLAND and doing incredibly smart things in the field of neurological research BUT she is GORGEOUS and so laid back and real. I appreciate her blog and it really is comforting to know there are still women out there in the world who don't take themselves so seriously and can enjoy life and who they are. 
• ARIELLE is the sweetest, god loving young woman I have ever thought I knew. I don't KNOW her but when you read her blog you really get a feeling for what her heart desires. Her beautiful son and her Husband are constantly mentioned and she has a heart and passion for JESUS CHRIST that is so genuine you can't help but desire to know HIM more... Her blog has become a spiritual getaway for me on some days... GO TAKE A PEEK :)
• +Jennifer+ okay so this woman is just skilled at writing. SIFT THROUGH her recent posts from this month. She has a heartfelt poem that just melted my heart. I truly have enjoyed leaving this womans page inspired to dig deeper into the word and also to just HAVE that genuine and authentic faith. Her love of GOD is so present in all that she writes about and she has this new PROJECT ♥ that EVERYONE needs to read about. QUITE INSPIRING and CONVICTING. Which is what a life with Christ should be filled with right?

I have soooo many more to list but I could not post them all at midnight. These just popped to my mind and I really, really think it is important to support those we love no matter if we have ever met or not. 

all photos from WEHEARTIT DOT COM

The blogworld is my little getaway from life and this is just a taste of the adventures I embark on when I sit at my computer for an hour or two with PANDORA playing in the background. It is so funny because when you read these blogs you see just how much beauty and good is capable of coming from the media and different mediums our fast paced generation has grown accustomed to. 


♥ChetreannA :)
A PROVERB AS YOU LEAVE! ENJOY:

seek HIS will in all you do and He will show you what path to take...

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thank you, I love you, Good-bye

I haven't taken new pictures in a while :(.
I haven't felt that comfort that comes from being held in a while.
I haven't felt hopeless, like my heart will never heal :).
I haven't felt like the prettiest woman in the room/restaurant.
I haven't cried myself to sleepiness in over 3 weeks? :)
I haven't not wanted to know what he was doing and if he misses me...
I haven't worn heels just because in a couple of months.
I haven't wanted to live in my sweats in about a month :).

Slowly but surely I'm beginning to remember how to live without having a boyfriend. The ex was my first boyfriend.
My first "I LOVE YOU" face to face.
My first to hold my hand in PUBLIC.
MY first conversation about MY PAST.
My first person to tell secrets.
My first person to trust.
My first...
My only...
 all of these things I am able to miss less and less each day.. 

Maybe if I had been like other girls and pursued relationships in high school--
It would still hurt as bad, huh?
Well, truthfully, I don't feel so much pain these days as I do feel lonely and some
times afraid. Lonely because I'm still talking myself out of calling him just to say "HI".
Afraid because I don't know when I will not think about him. When the thought
of his face or name won't bring me to this fantasy world where we are made for
each other and life is "perfect".

Reality is, we are not together.
We have not been together since November when I should have been faithful to my decision and allowed us to "BREAK UP".
The way every other couple does and has to.
But then you told me you had gone on a date and were already talking to a couple of other women and I had to let you back in and know that you were MINE and I was YOURS. That was the beginning of our end that I refused to accept. Instead of recognizing that any guy who is already talking to other women so quickly is probably not the guy your going to somehow end up marrying. lol. ahhh I guess my age really shows
when I look back. I wanted the idea of what we were more than I wanted to accept the reality of what we were.
Two people on very different paths wanting very different things. I was on fire for CHRIST burning to be with a man JUST as crazy about JESUS as I was but you had your own path with God to walk. It wasn't for me to help you with or teach you about. God was going to show you on his own.

I'm sorry I couldn't be strong and let go of you. I'm sorry I wasted so much timebreaking up with you then wanting/taking/allowing you back. I'm sorry I slept with you and gave a piece away without thinking (thank you lord for allowing me to be forgiven). I'm sorry I hurt you with my crazy emotions and defenses. I'm sorry I couldn't trustyou the way you wanted to be trusted. I'm sorry I'm still in LOVE with you or whatever this is. I'm sorry I didn't pick up your call, but the sound of your voicetakes me to a place that is NOT REAL. You were my best friend. Which makes it so much harder to accept. We don't belong to each other and we never did. WE belong to GOD. And only through him and allowing HIM to be my number one can You or I ever have the relationships we deserve in this lifetime.

I love you. I don't know if I'll ever NOT love you. But I can let you go :). You were an amazing part of my life. You loved me at my lowest point in life. You helped me through some dark issues. And now, our season has passed. I hope she treats you like a king. I hope she's beautiful and has a heart for GOD that allows her to give you all she has. I hope we can be friends one day. Real friends. Your amazing and I pray nothing but blessings your way. I wouldcall you and tell you this..But my heart can barely stand it when we do "TALK".

Please understand. I'm not going to be selfish anymore and use you to FEEL loved or to FEEL anything. GOD will FULFILL ALL OF THAT AND MORE. I HAVE FAITH IN HIM. Your free. THank you for being there for me. 

 LOOK TO CHRIST AND NOTHING BUT GOOD WILL COME YOUR WAY :). 

adios senor..hehe

♥

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