Spirited Rant

If Jesus is not the reason I'd love to stop believing.
I just see so much around me.
So many distractions and so much unappreciated BEAUTY.
 I cry out and my vocal chords give way.
I can not speak the desires perfectly of my ♥.
I am just rambling. I feel so much today. I feel so much SPIRIT within me that if I could at this moment in this public library I would jump into some sassy ballet stance and leap gracefully around the other students here allowing my voice and mind to be cut off and the HOLY SPIRIT to speak amplified through my heart...
I love my Savior.
He has changed my life and my perspective within the life he has given me.

I can see him in my day you guys! I can hear him and I occasionally respond immediately. The future with him flows out of my eyes. Because I know it is good. All good things come through him. He and the father are one. Through him we have access to the Father. The Father is well pleased with his Son. I don't know where that or any of this came from but I am inspired and I reckon God is my muse.

I was just sitting here abusing my internet privileges and watching an episode of Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 1 and when I finished I just left for a second or something? I was out of my body and I was in my body and I was so in LOVE.

Is any of this making sense to anyone... Because I most certainly do not understand it...

Last night at church a man from Uganda came and spoke. He said many things and the spirit was alive and present in him. He spoke on being USED. GOD sees what we can not see in ourselves. What I can not see in myself. He sees the tools he has planted within me and He has a will and plan for those tools of mine. I want to go to Africa. I sat there watching the video of my native lands and I saw myself in one of the girls on screen. I saw myself in a few faces and my heart ached to serve and do something for my brothers and sisters in Africa.

When I first came to know the Lord last year I was immediately in need to leave America and be of service somewhere. I picked up our churchs missions book and saw that there are Calvary Chapels on literally every continent. I read through the missions book and looked at the prayer requests hoping God may show me where he wanted to lead me. This was well over 7 months ago? He didn't speak to me on where. I assumed Ireland for whatever reason.

No, I do believe my God spoke to me last night. He answered me. He told me my hearts desire, the desire that aligns with his will.

Just a little f.y.i...

I am not a missionary! I mean, I wear highheels when I ride my beach cruiser to school. I am in love with heels actually. I dream of lovely fabrics draping my body and expensive silks in my bedroom one day. I am a spoiled, Jesus loving., California girl who prays to have a heart and mind ONLY for my Lord. But that is where I am today.

Of course he has worked in me and changed so much about even these things I just touched on. But I see them and I hear the thoughts that I think and I know I am far from being able to get down and dirty in the slums of Africa. Whereever he has called me I know that only by the strength of God would I be there and be able to be of any type of service.

But that is EXACTLY what I am talking about. God will give me that strength, that courage and those words I need to say to do his will :). I don't need to look at just how far from PERFECT I am in light of this particular situation. I don't need to worry about HOW I will become the woman I believe I need to be in order to do Gods will. He will provide.

Just a quick update on my personal life. I got my car fixed basically for free because of the love God has for me and for his obedient servants who happened to take the shape of my mom and Grandmother. Please keep these women both in your prayers btw if the thoughts strikes! I then received the invitation to be on my Grandmonthers phone plan to help me save money just because I simply could not afford to have one anymore. God provided these things. I am so thankful for the family I have and the love they have for me but without God I would be carless and phoneless right now because my pride tells me I am unworthy of reaching out for help when I so desperately am a wreck.
However, I digress. The last two weeks I survived with no money. I was fed, I received free gas, I attended church, I attended an event I planned for the 18-25 year old bible study I attend when I had no gas at all. Long story short me and a brother in Christ planned NARNIA NIGHT (I had never seen Narnia and I had no idea just how much biblical symbolism was in that movie!) and the night before I was driving home from church and realized wow, I don't know how God is getting me to the movie night I planned or if he is. But I had peace about it.
I digress again.

GOD PROVIDES! He has taken these two weeks to show me just how much he cares and just how much he loves me and JUST HOW CLOSE HE IS TO ME EACH AND EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY / HOUR/ MINUTE/ SECOND.  I was forced by my own irresponsible ways to see the GOD OF ETERNITY. He has not changed since he lead the Israelites out of slavery and he is no different than the GOd who revealed the Revelation of Jesus Christ to John on the island of Patmos. HE is my God who died for my sins so that I may have victory over them and come back to my Father. I am not to worry about the hows of my life.

SOME ARE:

• how will I ever attract a husband?
• how will I ever finish school?
• how will I ever get to Africa/Haiti?
• how will I ever pay off this or that?
• how will I ever live on my own...?
• how will I ever be a loving submissive wife?
• how will I ever help raise other human beings?
• how will I ever...

The list definitely goes on y'all. But you get my point.
God has a plan for me and you. He knows this plan and it is good. It will be carried out. However, the road there is what worries us. God has told me to just focus on his face and seek his face in all that I do and I will get there. He has told me that obedience and surrendering are required of me on this road. I need not worry only obey and surrender unto Him and the rest will be good.

Easier said than done I know but I have been obedient and surrendered and it was a struggle, but when I finally did I witnessed GOD show me his face and say "this is my daughter of whom I am proud for she seeks to please her Father." Oh dear God, amen.


Thank you for stopping by one of my spirited rants. I love you all and God bless you and keep you on this special day he has given us! Seek his face and he will guide your ways. For he is good and we can put all our trust in him.


talestai***



♥cheche



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just a picture of one of my favorite shirt dresses! I am in love with this shirt. Every time I wear it I feel the urge to take pictures and I feel so much more AFRICAN than American. If that makes any sense :)..

taking pictures while riding my bike from school= SO FUN :). pray it isn't illegal.. ha ha Goodnight ladies and gent!