While the world is sleeping I am just getting home from service, church and dinner with a sister and completing night 11 of my circuit. I know it is extremely late and exercise is not something that one should do before bed but I feel so much more energetic and just overall content when I exercise and then wake up and start my day! After getting rid of my gym membership a few months ago (and deciding that Jesus loved me enough to give me a body that is not handicapped) I realized that the gym was not doing anything but taking a much needed thirty dollars from my account every month. Part of the split from the gym had a lot to do with how much food and exercise were tied into a previous relationship of mine. I think I wanted to just rebel against everything that THAT particular relationship had began to manifest itself as.
So I ate donuts for a month in a half straight, wore the same sweats for a month straight, cried uncontrollably and at random moments and actually had moments where I felt sorry for even having emotions so that I could just continue on living my amazingly BLESSED life.
So I made the split and it felt good to not have it for SEVEN whole months. I actually felt free and liberated. The illusion of my worth which I had began to accept as reality was so wrapped up in that darn GYM and EATING "good" and blah blah blah... We really don't need to get so into that :). Anyways the point is I am finally beginning to find out why CHE enjoys exercising and how I feel good taking care of me FOR ME. Rather than taking care of myself so that I may be appealing to someone else...Hopefully that made sense to someone out there.
There has been a reoccurring theme in my life recently as well. God has provided me with this inward reflection and it is about my heart and prayer. I have a heart that desires my Lord so much but I really need to be praying MORE and with much more URGENCY. In the beginning of my walk with Jesus I can remember praying for hours sometimes just ignoring time and space and pouring out my heart. I can remember that desperation for his voice so deeply within that I could not even voice my desires I could only groan and cry out for him. It was the most amazing and scariest place to be because I was truly SOLD OUT for Christ in my prayer life.
Lately prayers haven't had that effect. I know this makes me no less of a Christian woman but it certainly is something I think I should take a look at in regards to where I am now. I am really encouraged by this to start "spicing" up my prayer life. Maybe even focusing on something each day to pray about without ceasing and keep on the front of my mind for that day? Just as a reminder of what we are called to do as Christians. PRAY! Pray for one another and pray for those around us and our government and our nation, whomever and wherever that may be. I just realize that seasons come and go with God. Some seem dry and some are extremely ABUNDANT. However we may perceive it WE are the ones who are changing NOT JESUS. He is the same as yesterday, today and tomorrow! Our Eternal God. The firstborn of the dead :). These seasons are about CHOICES. They're about us choosing to keep after Christ, and if that means changing our devotional life up, using new prayer techniques or attending a new study or ministry at our church so be it. AMEN I just really want to always be moving FORWARD in this relationship, this true love I have. What a gift we have chosen to receive as his children grace and mercy... Our sanctification does not end until we are called out of this world! Accepting Christ is only the beginning so get up and start walking :)!!!
I am so in LOVE. I cannot imagine the Love I will share with my husband someday but I am praying it gives me everything I need to keep seeking my FIRST LOVE Jesus Christ and to not lose heart. There is a spiritual battle brewing for our souls you guys. We must be on guard and in the word and protecting ourselves because we are human and easily strayed!
Have a blessed day and Sunday and may Jesus reach out and touch each and everyone of your hearts on this day! In Jesus name.. LET IT BE TRUE amen :)
♥CheChe
