Giving grace to myself...♥

me and some of my favorite people at Jalisahs open mic...Such a great night in Newport... And this picture has nothing to do with the post. I just really liked it.

Today was one of the many days we go through as believers.

And looking back at this past week I can see how a few compromises lead to this overall "downer" of a day spiritually.

Not getting in time to read and pray.

Not diverting my eyes from watching things I know I shouldn't be feeding my mind.

Not resisting the pleasure my flesh feels when certain things arise.

Holding my tongue when the Lord was wanting me to speak TRUTH.

These little things are not at all little.

They are ginormous.

And then within 7 days your all flesh and desperate to be filled with the Spirit.

I get a bit down. Because I'm quick to believe the lies.

I'll mistake this all as a sign that I'm not saved because "REALLY SAVED" Christians are basically perfect and when they SIN it is tiny stuff.

I know the doctrine of sin and salvation decent enough I believe.

So it says alot for me to entertain these thoughts that if any other sister had come to me and shared I would rebuke with scripture and encourage with...scripture.

His Word is life.
Everything we do and think is weighed upon it.

The same verses that rebuke our wicked ways can also encourage the Spirit of God living within us.

So, for me to go there shows just how much I had strayed through these compromises.

Now, I don't want to downplay the lack of discipline being demonstrated in the listed fickle choices I made recently. But I do want to *UP-PLAY? the victory that ONLY comes through Jesus.

There is nothing I did to receive His gift. 

The eternal package of salvation, forgiveness, redemption, grace, mercy, truth, wisdom, knowledge, freedom, newness, LIFE, joy, peace..etc.

God gave me so many things when He received me into His kingdom and awoke me to His love.

I can't lose something that I did not steal or take in my own will.
GOD HIMSELF revealed HIMSELF to me and is keeping me hidden within HIMSELF by HIS own power and SPIRIT.

There is no room for Chetreanna in that equation.

My role in the deal is to TRUST and OBEY.
And I can only do these two daunting tasks through Faith.
And my faith can only be increased through walking in Faith.

And I can only walk by Faith if I am trusting and obeying Him to direct me.
And I can only know that God is directing me by FAITH if I know Gods ways.

And I can only know God by spending time with Him.

And I can only spend time with Him by reading His word, speaking to Him, listening to Him, studying Him, resting with Him...etc....

You see how it really works?

Those my only jobs in this grand scheme and the desire to fulfill them isn't even from me either it is from him.

All of this is His word btw not mine.

Well, before I go typing more and babbling through text I'd like to conclude this with my final thoughts.

God is good even when I am not good. Because He doesn't sway or change. HE is only good. I have a condition in which my old self who was living for the things of this world and my new self who has been born in Christ are battling it out daily. And I can choose to let the old Che have her way even if it seems small. I can choose to feed her a bit and think it won't effect the new Che that is in Christ. I can do that in my sinful understanding and justification of things and then feel miserable within a week or so. As I grow and mature in Christ I realize that I am much more sensitive to things that didn't always seem to effect me so easily as a Christian. God is calling me to a pure and holy and blameless path and it is going to require the old Che to suffer greatly and experience much pain... 

And I can see more than ever that this path is going to require more of me holding up to my end of the process. Trusting and obeying the Lord is the only way I am going to experience more victory and joy... And while I don't have it all together perfectly as I'd like too, there is THE PERFECT one living within me to accomplish all the things He has for me.

I can't wait to see what He has for me this year.