A promise is given.

Luke 1:45

And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord...

Hebrews 10:23

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; for he is faithful that promised

I woke up this morning and the two aforementioned verses came via instagram and the other popped up as the verse of the day on YOUVERSION.
Only God knows where my heart and mind were battling this morning.
And I account it to His faithfulness, grace and love that I saw those two verses, one right after another today.
I praise Him for it :)

I came on here not really wanting much but a place to just type.
I ventured through a few blogs I follow then realized how much I've changed because many of them no longer suit my interest.
I've matured more than I realized in the last year of being away from my virtual escape.

After seeing what was taking place in my blog world for a moment I came to this empty white space to get something out.
I treat this place like a journal more than I do a wide open space on the Internet for ANYONE to read.
Nonetheless I felt urged to simply post those two verses that had touched my heart and brought peaceful tears down the sides of my face.
God speaks through His word because His word is alive...

(Last night at church the message opened with two portions of scripture. One was out of Ezekiel Chapter 34. The other was out of Psalm 23.)
Then...I remembered PSALM 23... I remembered that GOD IS MY SHEPHERD.
I remembered that I SHALL NOT WANT.
I remembered that HE IS FAITHFUL.
I remembered that HE IS WITH ME, THOUGH, I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY...

I cannot fully say that I am walking through the valley just yet.
I believe there is suffering in this world that I have been truly spared from; Valleys of death are thriving these days...

But I will say that I am walking by faith in ways that I cannot do apart from Him.
The trust and confidence that God is desiring of me is so heavy.
I've been disobedient and disrespectful and told Him I don't want this.
I've lifted my hands and asked for Him to remove this burden that requires me to deny my sight.

But here I am...
And here are these verses...

I am afraid...to trust...
I am afraid...to admit that God has spoken...
I am afraid because faith is asking me to be vulnerable in a humiliating way...
This measure of grace is being poured out and I can't seem to let myself fully enjoy it.

So I waver.
I crash inside and go numb.
I lose my appetite.
I refuse to accept the peace that comes from believing in Him.
And I wake up in the morning and receive His word.

Clearly, the Lord has spoken.
But my response, belief and faith is at war against my prideful will.

God is so amazing y'all.
Pardon me if this seemed like a mess of a post but I don't know how to be anything but honest in this area of life.
I doubt His goodness and deny His gifts in my heart at times.
I know this is not of the Lord and I say this in complete awareness of needing His grace.

Repentance is needed in this place of doubt.
I beg Him to help me with my unbelief and increase my faith.
That is what I am asking of Him today as I turn my heart back to its rightful place.

Thank you for stopping by!
You are appreciated so much if you choose to pray for me :)