Back to sChOOL ♥

Sitting in the library, on my first day back to school, I find myself extremely comfortable and really really sleepy.

I didn't get the required amount of sleep last night and the sleep I did get was specifically for HEALING. 

Long story short I woke up with a pulsing and head banging migraine. Thought it was from lack of water and maybe food. Got water Got food then proceeded to barf in the bathroom while also trying to rub the temples of my head to ease the pain and pressure of the migraine. LORD HELP ME.

I know it is connected to my SPINAL DEGENERATION which is basically a degenerative disease of the spine where the bones slowly start to compress and there is no more of that spongy tissue in between to provide lubrication and all that other stuff your spine needs them for. The chiropractor let me know these would continue to get worst year by year so I'm sure they are connected. NONETHELESS I should probably see a neurologist :(. I'm a bit lazy (that is an understatement) and I tend to say things I need to do and talk about things I need to do and think about things I need to do... BUT I DON'T DO THEM! ha ha

I apologize for the run-on ya'll~

I rode my bike to school today :)! It was fun and I should be polite and say I RODE MY MOMS BEACH CRUISER to school today. I got that lock I mentioned I needed yesterday and tightened the front wheels on moms beach cruiser. She actually was a bit irritated but she hasn't ridden the thing once and she often buys things she WANTS to use but never uses them. This is no excuse for my disobedience (technically she let me because she saw me leave to school on it and said bye) and I'm not trying to say I'm justified.. OR AM I? Ugh. The whole honor your mother and father thing is a bit hard at times I guess. LoL  I'm glad my car broke down because who knows if I would have ever been able to enjoy riding a bike had it not!

I am taking anthropology and will be studying DARWINISM from what looks like a lover of the 60's and everything green. Which is cool and annoying all in one. Darwinism denounces GOD in so many ways and also is  not anything I believe should be taught with facts behind it. But I could be jumping to conclusions so I will just leave it at that. But really I am not looking forward to my newest form of secular brainwashing we call class in this country. I have also heard from non-christian scientists that DARWINS THEORY OF EVOLUTION is not sound. Claiming that life formed life by jumping on the back of life (summarized poorly) just makes no sense. IT IS A THEORY and nothing more.

OH LORD, Be with me this semester as I am sure my faith will be questioned and my patience will be tested. REFINE me RENEW me and make me more like you as I learn and grow in all the ways you have planned for me for you ARE MY GOD<3

My amazing friend is picking me up for Church tonight and I could not be more grateful or excited. Monday Nights are where I got saved at my church (home church) Calvary Chapel and I am not yet ready to begin missing them for ANYTHING! There is nothing my gratifying on earth than watching people come to the lord. It gets me a high like no other drug or supplement on this planet! PRAISE GOD.

I went to FREE CHAPEL last night. And it was such a blessing. They performed dramatizations to the pastors sermon on the RAVEN on Noah's ARK and the DOVE. The RAVEN loves flesh and rotten things that are dead and symbolized those who walk in the flesh. And the DOVE symbolized those with the spirit of god and a changed nature desiring only what is GOOD and pleasing to him. The ark represented CHRIST because the dove came back to Noah after he set it free into the world but the raven never returned and stayed in the world. Then he spoke on the devils lies and there was a great and really touching skit to that and also on how easy it is to get caught up in sin and how Jesus is standing there waiting for you to U-turn right back into his arms the whole time, not matter how lost or gone you seem. You are ever to far for the LOVE christ so desperately wants to pour out to you! Anyways I found the whole thing to be a great interpretation and it poke to many because MANY gave their lives to Christ that night! Amen to that :)

I have been thinking less of my ex these days. I don't know how many weeks it has been but he only comes to mind in memories of things done and said. I know we're friends but it still feels like I have lost a family member or friend. Last night after barfing up my dinner I layed groggily on my bed (in my clothes thats how sick i felt) and thought very strongly about calling him and hearing his voice and praying to hear him comfort me in that soothing tone while I complained about how horrible I felt. 

Instead I PRAYED. PRAYED. PASSED OUT. Woke up with the phone in my hand too! It's crazy how letting go of ANYTHING in this world seems to be so slow and often painful even if your 100% sure that your in the will of God while doing it. I love that boy I just need to be completely free of his face from my head for now. I don't want to desire his comfort as anything more than just a friend and I am definitely not there yet but I am getting there. 

That call would have been selfish anyways. Truthfully I would have just been using the poor boy to feel loved and God loves me so why use someone I am not IN LOVE with in that connection I desire to have one day with a man. I'm glad I was able to resist and that God gave me the strength because yeah. I was a bit desperate for affection y'all not going to lie.

My English class is next and hopefully that will be a great class and I will do my homework on time. I really enjoy writing but if I am not inspired it can be a bit of a chore. So hopefully i have an English teacher looking to develop us into more passionate and talented writers. I read the books for the class and it seems to be a reading class which I love because I do enjoy a good read and always have something to share.

I know this was a bit of just a what's going on post, nothing to really sink your teeth into but I know God has something great in store for this session of school and I am so excited and blessed to even be abe to recieve an education one more year.

Thanks for reading!!

HAVE A BLESSED AND MARVELOUS MONDAY ;)