Change...

There really isn't a specific time that I started to notice how unique I was.

I was raised with that insight being constantly lavished upon me and reaffirmed.

God really wanted me to understand this I believe.

One way that I became aware of this was throug being taller than I should have been up until middle school.

"How old is she? (directed to one of my parents) Your only __ years old?? wow. 

She's so tall.)"

A typical statement that was always followed with a huge smile. 

I enjoyed those moments as a little girl. 

Nobody really explained whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, but I liked the unique question and response that I seemed to receive from so many different people.

Then there was also the attention I got for my personality and character. 

My dad put me in acting classes at an early age because of this ability I seemed to have to entertain others in unashamed abandonment.

People were always laughing when I was around; I never really tried to be anything special and yet I would entertain any guests or relatives quite effortlessly.

I didn't know if everyone else in the world was hearing these things, and at such a young age I don't believe I cared, but I knew I was Chetreanna and I was unique, tall, creative and talented.  Before I ever knew anything else about myself I knew those things.

It's funny how we learn about ourselves from others when we're young...

And as we grow older, we continue to learn about ourselves through others, only not necessarily in the same way. As a believer I learn a lot about my heart and myself through relationships, conversations and interactions and God is continually showing me who I am. Surprisingly, I am still learning how unique I am.

One thing unique about me is my sensitivity. I would make that specific but I can't really specify anything about it. I'm sensitive emotionally, spiritually, to others emotions, to the holy spirit, to spirits, to food, to environments...etc. I'm also sensitive to... change?  Excuse the question mark I just don't know how to say what I want to say. Bare with me...

Today is a day of change. 

No you will not find it on your calendar.  

It's something that happens to me a few times throughout the year.

I like to describe it as the way the earth must feel in certain areas where the seasons change (unlike Orange County).

Maybe the earth gets that feeling before any of us actually see the newness in the air?

Well, I may never know that but that is what it feels like for me.

I can be walking the lake, reading the bible, sitting in class, eating, feel a breeze, look in someones eyes while talking...

There is no rhyme or reason... No special routine to conjure up this feeling.

Something within me from head to toe just "smiles", lights up and things begins to turn in a new way.

I probably am making no sense.
Praise God this blog is mainly for my eyes anyways... So it will make sense when I read it, lord willing, years from now.

This...feeling...change... has never NOT existed within me either.

I thought it was something each one of us went through. I thought I was experiencing a normal part of human life.

Until I started explaining it to others. That is the easiest way to find out just how unique God created you. Explain yourself to others. You will leave the conversation, hopefully, feeling quite special. ha

I don't know what is going to happen, what change is coming, how it will look. But today is one of those days where I am filled with the awareness of something new in the air. 

The bible doesn't really give me anything concrete to validate this as a gift or anything super spiritual so I don't really look at it that way. It's just something that takes place whether I want it to or not and it never steers me wrong.

Change is a coming. 

And my oh my, am I ready for it.

♥ CheChe