Excuse the confusing title :).
Hopefully it makes sense as you read on.
I'm here...
Writing!
Praise the Lord.
I've been working 40hr weeks.
The new position seems exciting.
Still training for another five weeks and then reality kicks in.
Yay.
Two of my Africans are leaving this weekend for school also.
Other friends are practically engaged.
I'm scared I'm going to lose my car. They won't let me make the payment in a normal fashion!
Thankfully this Saturday I'll have even more cash to add to what I've saved so far so that when I find out how they want me to pay ill have a couple months to show for! :)
Life is changing so quickly.
I'm scared to finish college because it takes real work.
Yet...
I want to be married someday and tell my kids about college.
I want to minister and counsel girls with disorders and bondage.
But I'm too scared to seek the desires of my heart.
I'm so lazy.
I hate physical running but I run from Gods voice so often.
I'm a spiritual runner.
I'm a huge Jonah!
One who has been in denial.
But I refuse to have Jonahs story.
No giant fish necessary. I pray.
No, I'm running towards the voice of God!
I'm going to finish college and be legit.
I'm going to stop moping and keep praying!
I need God.
This blog is like one continual rant of my need for a savior.
It is pathetic and awesome all in one.
Pathetic because I write it here rather than a journal.
Awesome because I get to write it somewhere for recollection.
I went off roading/ mountain hiking.
That was amazing.
I went to a new place called Portola Coffee which was freaking awesome.
There is so much going on in life and it brings me so much joy to know that God is moving in my life at all.
Despite my disobedience.
Well, that is all I can stomach on ny EVO.
Pray for me
I want God to be enough but a strong part of me is just so darn in want of true love.
And it wants it Now.
Definitely the flesh.
Wants:
A husband.
And I can't honestly say that I'm content with just my God.
I know that is a horrible statement but its just the lies I'm allowing to be real.
If I was truly content I doubt I'd be irritated with the guy the Lord closed the door on Completely.
Not irritated with him just the whole surrendering,praying and getting a "Not Now" "Not Him" deal.
God has great things for those who delight in Him and I will fight to delight in Him.
Pray for my heart if you think of me.
How are you doing :) ?
♥CheChe
