You guys, this is ridiculous. 

I mean, I can barely make it online to follow you all anymore. 

I have become unworthy of considering myself a "blogger".

I can't even think of what I could possibly share by the time I get near a computer.

But...

I don't want to give up.

I don't want to believe that this is the end for me.

I will not become merely a spectator.

I may not have the lifestyle that allots me the energy necessary to give you what you deserve,

but I can overcome this hump.

My only question...

WILL YOU BE PATIENT WITH ME?

In other news...

I'm pretty excited to go back to school.

Especially since everywhere I go people ask me if I'm currently in school.

Then I have to go through the whole "Yeah, but I'm not enrolled right now." bit.

And I just feel like a bit of a... COMO SE DICE?

LOSER...

Can I also admit to you all that I am officially struggling spiritually?

I know. Once again right?

But seriously. I feel as if I am lacking significantly in the LORDS strength.

Today I was tempted beyond relief to do something that was just...

UGHHHHH.

I can't keep secrets on here.

I was tempted to write a check that I knew would probably bounce.

Just so I could get some amazing LANCOME makeup.

YES.

I can be THAT shallow.

There. 

Done.

Sorry.

But I didn't.

Mainly because the check wouldn't take.

The sad thing was I said under my breath to the LORD

"WOW... God this would be pretty crazy if the check went through..."

I SAID THAT.

WHO IN THE WORLD AM I???

That is not a normal dialogue one has with GOD.

The problems for me are that I was willing to do this for material possessions

and that I was even willing to acknowledge my lie to the LORD and basically

mock HIM by saying how crazy it would be if I got away with it.

"THOU SHALT NOT TEST THE LORD YOUR GOD..."

RING A BELL CHE?

yes...BUT I am a fool. Shameful...

I don't really got more for you guys today.
I could use your prayers and encouragement.

I may delete this post eventually. 

pure embarrassment would be the cause.

♥CheChe

p.s. I posted a blog yesterday on my BLOGGER app and throughout the day today I kept seeing that it was reposting itself. I'm sorry that happened...again...and...again...