And your mom tells you that she remembers his first day of elementary.
And you remember just what a sweetheart he is.
And how intelligent he is.
And that nobody could ever seem worthy of being his friend because he is just too amazing.
And He looks a lot like you...
Only he wasn't that popular in highschool.
And for some reason the other guys enjoyed making fun of him.
And he wouldn't dare tell you names because he knew you were crazy and didn't mind slapping a girl or guy in the name of FAMILY LOVE.
And he would walk in the door from a day of highschool with his shoulders drooped.
And you would tell him that he could trust you with whoever was bullying him or being a jerk.
But he would rather protect them than allow me... I mean you to get access to a name and let hell loose through your old highschool.
So you would sit with him and give him advice in the areas he was willing to open up about.
And you learned to stop prying and that when you talked about yourself and what you went through in high school he was more willing to open up.
Like about his first girlfriend. Who was so gorgeous you smiled and thought "Yep. That is MY brother."
Then you remembered you never had a boyfriend in high school and became even more proud?
Yes. You are pretty sick.
But he is your little, bigger brother who deserves the best of everything.
Even in the girlfriend department.
My little brother is so amazing.
I don't really get to let him know because we don't get to talk as much as I'd like and when we do it is more lighthearted.
He is seriously, hilarious.
His laugh is contagious and shows all his teeth.
He has the best smile in the world! Pearly and straight white teeth and no braces ever!
Yes. I am a bit jealous of the genetics that seemed to go straight to Him.
perfect feet, teeth and the kid had a six-pack before highschool started.
I sometimes wonder if we are really blood related...
God has created some deep attachment to him over the last few years.
I don't know how else to describe it.
The love I have for that boy is so deep.
I would honestly do anything I could to make my brother happier or his life easier.
I feel as if over the years he transformed from an annoying little brother who reeked hell on my social life (you know how they like to yell "CHE WET THE BED LAST NIGHT" in front of all your middle school friends and then run away... Because that is SO adorable right?)
into a handsome and mature gent.
I don't know my little brother as much as I would like to.
And that breaks my heart... I feel like time is running out and I have made no progress with our relationship.
I'm sorry for always being so busy.
That you probably feel like I was never a "real" big sister.
I was always gone...
but it wasn't because of you, it was because of our home and what it represented to me.
If I could go back I would spend time with you whenever you let me.
I'd take you and NeeNee to the movies and we would hang out and laugh.
I would help you with your homework when it was too difficult.
....
I know that he loves video games.
Anime movies excite him.
Japanese culture is an obsession of his. (I'm the same way with the Hispanic culture.)
My husband will speak spanish and his wife will speak Japanese!! YAY for bilingual neices and nephews right?
I know that he loves cake.
And working out.
and the taste of cold milk.
I know that he hates doing social things (just like me.)
I know that he would prefer to be alone doing something he enjoys than having meaningless conversation for the sake of social fulfillment.
I know that he enjoys learning about health just like me.
i know that he is hurting.
I know their is forgiveness and healing that he has yet to allow God to work out.
I know that he has been threw hell in this lifetime and that I have prayed so hard for him not to give up....
I know that I would sneak into his room when he was younger to check that he was safe.
That I would stay up for hours wanting to protect him and my little sister.
And yet I failed miserably.
I know that I have so many things that I would want him to know if I ever died before I could manage to get them out.
And I think it would go something like this...
...But the fear, the worries, the anxieties, the struggles, the abuse... They will be a blessing in the end.
They will make you stronger Rt. They will be used to help others, to be able to relate and to bring glory to God. I pray that God would reveal himself to your heart soon and very soon...
♥CheChe
thanks for letting me release that one loves.
Have an amazing Sunday Funday. And give your family a hug!!
