Lies

We have all committed this one time or another. Some of us would like to forget some of the lies we have made. Others would like to think they never "REALLY" lie. It was only a white lie. Well, listen up. My "white" lies. They aren't so white. They weigh more than they appear too and the burden is one that can spiritually break me down. I have been carrying this burden for quite some time. I learned how to lie at an early age. I also learned that even when I told the truth there was always a punishment. So I suppose at an early age I learned to lie to please others and also because it seemed the best route in VIRTUALLY every situation.

After coming to Christ the things that once left you not even second guessing start to manifest themselves as dead weight. You begin to see yourself losing speed and Christ keeps on walking. He does not stop to help you while you allow your sin to cling on for life. He simply keeps walking. I have chosen to follow Jesus yet I have allowed these lies of mine to cling on for life the whole trip. Only until recently did I really start to feel the conviction of this sinful habit. I know that I am Christian so some of your may be thinking "HOW CAN YOU BE GODLY AND TELLING LIES?" As my pastor put it tonight the answer is "YOU CAN'T"

I am a believer who has lied, continuously over the most mundane of things. I am sorry but most importantly I am sorry to my Lord. I have stayed behind in order to feed this sin. To nurture it against his will for me. I feel relief from it then someone asks me a question and there I am sinning so naturally. Oh, and doesn't it feel good. I have always prided myself as such a "real" and "authentic" and "honest" person. I do possess those attributes but sadly sin dwells in me. I feel dumb but I am not condemned in Christ. My God tells me I will have living waters flow within me. His spirit is in me and it trembles at these sins. I begin to not hear his voice as much, or as loud. This has been my life for quite some time. The past couple of weeks have been heavy.

My problem is I seek to please man. I want you to like me. I love when you smile at me, hug me and tell me nice things. I love how YOU seem to enjoy hanging around me. I want to keep you satisfied. I want you to know that I also like you and so I tell a lie and I make you laugh with a story that may or may not be true or accurate. I embellish because I am (a theater major) but also because people seem to enjoy these crazy stories of mine. I am sinning to keep you happy and you don't even know. You don't even care. It isn't a blatant act. IT is the devils ways and he is sneaky. This is what I have done.

I know that I am being a bit dramatic typing this. But it feels really good to let it off my shoulders. I love and respect all of you so much. I know for a fact this is something that every human being struggles with I just have not always stayed true to the TRUTH. I have wandered my whole life back and forth. I am not saying I am a compulsive liar and my name isn't even really Chetreanna or anything like that. I am simply saying I am a sinner who has been saved by grace and God has shown me a dark part of myself that I am repenting of. I am repenting Lord Jesus. I am repenting and asking for your help, for your strength. I have tried in the past to kick this habit on my own only to do it again 5 minutes later. Satan tells me it will never end and to accept it. But God with you all things are possible. Continue to show me my sin and how deep it has been instilled into my being. Cleanse me day by day with your living word. Give me the power to have my flesh submit Lord. Tame my flesh Lord Jesus.

Our relationships with Christ are not meant to be comfortable. We are not meant to feel PERFECT or as if we have hit some type of THRESHOLD where there is nothing we will need to move toward or from. We are always growing in one way or another with Christ and being stretched. I was saved in November of last year. I was/am a perfectionist and a people-pleaser. Christ is working in me and although I want so desperately to be THERE or whatever that looks like in my head I know that he will always be working in me until the day I breathe my last breath and am united with him and all of the angels in heaven. I am so grateful to have a God who is forgiving and tells me I am his child and nothing can tear me away from him. I am my biggest enemy with Christ. He seeks to use me you guys! He has great and amazing plans for me and everyone else who calls on his name!! WE  just need to get out of our own way! WE need to put Christ first and say no to SIN and its different forms. Say no to the devil and his many distractions he has created for the Christian man and woman. Satan does not want to see us GROW. He knows God loves us from now until forever. He seeks to weaken the Christian. He produces false doctrine that LOOKS just like the bible but really is not Of GOD. HE tells us we are okay and to just sin and feel comfortable. HE knows our flesh is weak and waits for us to grow sleepy and tired so he can shake our cribs. WE are to always be moving forward in Christ! Keep walking. Stay strong. My sin is not going to get the best of me. Satan is a punk, he is a spoiled devil who needs to learn his place in this world once and for all. I look forward to the day when Satan is put in his rightful place in the abyss. 

I feel a lot lighter. I feel as though my walk has been strengthened. I am not perfect. I never will be. However, I choose to take the steps that lead me further down the narrow road and away from the things of this world. Away from my sin. Away from seeing anything but the face of GOD.

May God richly bless you and keep you today as you go on with your life. May his spirit speak loud and clear as you live and function in this forsaken world. May you be obedient to his word and what he ahs called you to do. May you pray today and know it is heard and it has already been answered. May you open up the word of God and allow him to speak to you. May your heart be opened to his love. May your life bear fruit today of our GOD. The Father, Son and Spirit. The God-head three in one. The alpha and omega. He who made himself as man so that he may be a sacrifice, the atonement, for our sins. So that the DEVIL may try to tell us we are condemned and we may show him the blood of CHRIST that cleanses us and gives us VICTORY over sin. Oh, praise Jesus! He broke his body and shed his blood FOr you. Just for you. Knowing how sinful and undeserving we are. HE layed down his life and saved yours in the process.

Has he called you to move forward in your walk? Has he delivered you from the grasp of Satan? Do you trust him with your life? These are all things I can say yes to today. These are the things that encourage me. Please know that I am only sharing this to let you know that GOD IS REAL! He lives! :) Thank you for reading and pray for me as I pray for you guys. I love you and without Jesus I would just be a sinner without the HOPE and Forgiveness. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Good night

♥cheche

p.s. this blog has been full of nothing but honesty btw. I know it doesn't matter but I just wanted you all to know that you need not question the things on here. This is one of my safe-havens. Anyways lol yeah thanks!